Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
There where 3 half naked girls passed out on the pool table, I crawled under it and just as I was about to go to sleep some guy walks up and says: "dude nice spot" walks away and comes back with a pillow.
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
You described pouring milk in your strawberry cereal as a glittering magnificent water fall, skimming over the mountain and little strawberry citizens.
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
I'm smoking in a kimono on the couch. Bring me gin.
like when you break up with someone your virginity slowly starts to grow back & when it's done it's like ding ding ding you're ready to date again
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
She’s super into those renaissance faires. But, if you can’t actually stab anyone, what’s the point?
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