barbara walters just said penis...
Did you draw a mustache on my drivers license picture??
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
I just got released from jail. still in my kilt. bring pants damnit. they won't understand.
pants will make it better? really?
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
They're showing aladdin at the bar my birthday is complete
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
you kept saying "i will not *breathe* regret this *breathe* in the morning *breathe* i just gotta remember *breathe* to BREATHE"
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
My pants zipper is stuck halfway down. I have to interview an intern later. This day is gonna be amazing,
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
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