sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
Going to a professional golf course at 2am to throw the flag poles like javelins
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
I would say "man cannot subsist on sexting and brownies alone" but I think it's actually possible.
So I have to borrow my moms car tomorrow to go pick up my ID from the strip club so I can board my plane tomorrow
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
That awkward moment when you are on your way to ICU and the only sympathy gift you can think of is beer and whiskey
Dude I am a waste of space, I just febreezed myself so I could go out and get lunch
Would you be opposed to me keeping a live lobster in the shower for a bit?
Randomize
