32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
My vagina is in bus station locker number 1465.You can go talk to it if u like -in the mean time I’m going 2show up drunk and embarrass u at work.
im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
Nothing too major over here lately. Just had a date with an ex-internet porn star turned lawyer. He said: "at my 3rd burning man I taught a workshop on BDSM" and I knew it was going to be a fun night.
I can't even be mad at customs in houstons airport anymore for missing my flight and having to stay overnight. Within an hour of meeting we did it at her place. Her last word being "glad I could show you real southern hospitality". I'm definitely coming back here someday
You know your Halloween costume is slutty when you have to shave your pubes to wear it.
she said she doesn't remember seeing me at all last night. ...I was with her for six hours, there's no way she could have been blackout the whole time
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
Randomize
