the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
My mom assumed I was crying because he was leaving. Figured that was better than explaining my eye's sensitivity to semen..
How long can I microwave pasta with a 20 percent alcohol content?
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
Have invented new cocktail. Any flavor of crystal light and vodka. I call it "I am going to die alone"
Did I actually say goodbye last night or did I just poison you with vodka and disappear?
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
You kept running up to married couples, taking their pictures and begging for them not to get divorced
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
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