lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
but why does your life always sound like the plot of a porn?
All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
Bartending School is so much more enjoyable now that I realized I was in rehab at this time last year.
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
i just found this napkin with your number on it in my jacket pocket. it reads amy, drawing of a wine bottle and a house
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
You think I'll get the "I used to stick it to your daughter" discount?
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
Randomize
