Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
After being his wingman last night, I've decided I will never talk about becoming a lesbian ever again. Picking up chicks is way too hard.
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
He just showed up on my porch naked with just a blanket and a trash bag
you know that australian accents are like the bat signal to my vagina
So it turns out "let's pretend to be gay so guys will stop hitting on us" was step one in her plan to get me into bed...
I had sex with him in the back of my car in a duck onesie. I'm worth something dammit.
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
He literally shouted this Viking war cry when he cam. Then as we laid there he sang me the most beautiful rendition of " When Irish Eyes are Smiling". I've never been more confused.
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
Randomize
