There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
theres no point in washing my sheets anymore. its always going to be a fine layer of booze and semen.
friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
I'm reducing my diet to vodka and rice cakes.
So I woke up today with someone's door knob in my pocket. I hope everbody else got out of the house ok.
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
I can count the number of hours she's been sober this weekend on one hand.
I'll be spending 4/20 on a cruise ship, so i need a babysitter to make sure I don't reenact Titanic
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
He walked door to door asking if anyone needed to get laid. Surprisingly, that ended his drought
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
woke up and you werent here...its ok if we're never going to speak again but my furry hand cuffs are missing and i would like them back. thanks.
Randomize
