Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
The bar I'm at just passed out smores to everyone. I don't know what it has to do with cinco de mayo but I'm down.
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
Is it penis luge time yet?
Sadly him cutting me out of the duct tape dress was NOT the most awkward part of the night. It was a littleeee moist under there.....
He told me he wanted to show me something beautiful, then just started peeing off the bridge into oncoming traffic
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray
Successfully put eye drops in while driving with my glasses on. Stoner level: expert
I spilled wine on my pillowcase and I figure it's basically my lifeblood so I'm just leaving it
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
Randomize
