And God said, "Let there be Twilight," and it was so.
I should injure you considerably.
and that's when the elephants and penises started dancing on the ceiling
Dude I'm drinking a martini out of a water bottle, I've become my parents.
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
Somehow my family started talking about sex toys at breakfast.
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
Randomize
