come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
Yes and yes. Got taken to a Florida strip club. I desperately want to flood my eyes and ears with hand sanitizer right now.
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
you were passed out so I asked you what my name was and you opened your eyes and yelled "ricotta cheese"
no way
that's when i decided you were gonna be okay
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
You need Xanax blowdarts
Wait do we still get bagels if no one got laid
I know it doesn't seem right, but sometimes, bagels are just flat out called for.
You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
Of all of my friend's husbands, I like when yours hits on me best
Awe that means so much to us
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
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