is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
I just realized I have my pepper spray, gun, and vibrator all in one drawer. One false grab and I'm screwed either way.
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
Last time i carry you out of a forest
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
Don't make emojis simulating eating me out
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
After you puked in the bathtub you claimed you were never eating quesadillas again and you never even ate a quesadilla
the wedding party just walked in to the song eye of the tiger. i'm getting drunk.
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
Randomize
