WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
i was like hansel and gretel. i puked a trail from mcdonalds to our place so i could find my way back in the morning
i called him pencil dick in front of over half of his fraternity brothers...
...never gotten so many high fives in my life! fuck ya i win!
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
There was a note in my hello kitty underwear telling me "don't go over 9000"
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
Today needs to die. The mail delivery guy watched me throw up in my yard while taking my chihuahua out in Christmas pajamas at noon. Low point in my life.
I would have been very attracted to her had she not been reading me my Miranda Rights
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
Why is your solution always to masturbate
Because it usually works
I don't think I'm ever gonna need a boyfriend again. I have a body pillow, a vibrator, and I'm strong enough to open my own jars.
PLEASE LET MY BIRD FUCK YOUR BIRD
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.
Randomize
