Got separated, got a half bj, got dropped off in random part of the city, don't tell anyone
On a scale from 0 to 24...wait, 3 to 24, where 6 is the lowest and 12 is the highest, how freaking high re you right now?
I told her I was team Edward. I haven't gotten laid that easy since I told your sister that I had cancer
I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
the bar just sent me a facebook message congratulating me on being a regular and getting such good grades. my life is not real.
i think i have weasels eating my brain. Also there is a skeleton staring at me from the back of the bathroom door. it's an awkward vomit. come find me please
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
So many questions...the two most important are, where the fuck is my booze and how did you even get the couch through the door?
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
Randomize
