You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
her dad's the mattress king, she's genetically engineered to be good in bed
My 11 year old cousin is wearing a Jane Austen fan club t shirt. I'm trying not to tear into her, but I'm five coronas deep and losing control.
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
I'm one shot of soco 100 away from fucking a mailbox
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination.
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
My roommate just threatened to kill me with my own pan. Can I ever get away from the crazies?!
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
Randomize
