Have you finally orgasmed yet?
So for Valentine's Day...I finally swallowed. I feel like I earned that steak.
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
Why was there a 1000 piece puzzle covered in hot sauce being cooked in the microwave?
He said he was gonna go pull a lochte and the next thing we know he's outside ass naked peeing in the neighbors kiddie pool.
I thought I was smashed last night but the girl trying to pee in the fridge had me beat. True story.
HE WAS DRESSED LIKE A FISHERMAN AND HE WAS LIKE OH SHIT I THINK I JUST FOUND THE DEADLIEST CATCH i couldnt not go for it my honour compelled me
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
My ex boyfriend just amazon primed me a vibrator...guess I seemed stressed?
That portable toilet under the bed? Turns out it was a tuba. Explains alot.
Whoever thought of breakup sex is my new best friend
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