it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
Did I tell you that you looked cute last night? I looked at the pictures. I lied.
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
I think your high point was when the quesadilla was in your mouth and you were screaming "I can't chew!" and the Taco Bell guy just kinda stared at you like he wanted to strangle.
You know she's gonna fuck shit up when she shows up in a neon wind-suit
Because sadly the idea of me having a girlfriend is crazy enough to be an April fools prank
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
So I come home this morning to get ready for a job interview and there is garlic seasoning all over the hardwood and a knife in the wall. What. the. fuck.
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