Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
Just saw a baby with a T-shirt that read "I am the result of my mother forgetting to take her magic pills". I can't believe they make shit like that.
He called me from prison intake to wish me luck on my job interview. Somehow that's the most romantic thing that's ever happened to me.
we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
Two bottles of champagne and half a pizza later, I'm crying myself to tears watching The Nanny. Happy finals week.
just 'accidentally' changed my relationship status to 'in an open relationship' just to see what offers I might get if I were to dump him. it's not looking good
Oh boom. You're officially Dr Phil. I need to have sex that I actually remember participating in.
You are my mentor.
I drank wine out of a protein shake bottle last night. You may want to rethink that statement.
You've thrown off my entire schedule. Usually SATURDAYS are my "try to hide the jizz on my leggings" days
We've been staking out a taco bell for 2 hours trying to find last night's one night stand
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
Just because you got dumped by some loser doeant mean you need Jesus. It just means you need better friends and some booze
Randomize
