i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
i gave her a can of corn and told her the cabs are accepting non perishable food items over the holidays. blatant lie and she lives like $40 away
I'm going to look like a jackass in the Mexican newspaper tomorrow.
I stole so many things from the ER last night.
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
Dude. Remember the only two rules I set for that? Always have a sober friend and don't do drugs with a fat chick.
surprisingly organic peanut butter is not the best chaser
No, that's just what we do when we hang out. We get drunk, have really awesome sex, then fight about why we never worked as a couple
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
We ran out of vodka, so instead of body shots you wanted to do cupcake shots off her naked body...happy birthday to you.
Randomize
