I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
You'd think somebody who rolls blunts like jesus himself could roll a god damn burrito
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
I want you to worship my cock.
That's not how you start a conversation.
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