Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
I just found three unopened cans of PBR behind our futon that I think I was saving for winter.
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
If I'm not drunk and wearing a penguin hat by the time we are done opening Christmas presents then coming home for Christmas was a complete failure
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
sexting foreigners is the best. they respond with silly things like "love that tits"
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
Not sure if your roommate speaks German while sleeping, or if she woke up, figured out we were fucking, and used German to swear at us.
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
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