Alarm just got pulled in my exam
Swear it wasn't me
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
bikini waxes are so much more painful when you know you're not getting laid
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
Are you being sarcastic? I can't tell this time because you're in the hospital.
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
Like I couldn't describe it to you but if they did a lineup of penises i'd be able to pick it out.
Maybe walking up to the cops busting our party with a "Things go better with Coke" t-shirt on and asking for my extra license back that my little brother got busted with wasn't the best idea of the night.
Today is going to be the longest game of "was that a fart, or do I need to go wipe?" I have ever played. Maybe the most challenging too.
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
If I send Ben a tit pic but I do it while wearing a Tom Brady mask is that funny or creepy
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
Considering I drank for you last night, do you mind picking up your half of the hangover
Randomize
