Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
eating toast while peeing. You think this what kanye meant by the good life?
I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
I spent my night drunkenly staring at a picture of John Stamos. How do you think I feel?
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
we can't get the sharpie off the toilet seat from where you pressed your forearm with THUG LIFE written on it while you puked until 3 last night
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
Only at Harvard can you walk in on a bunch of stoners and expect everyone to immediately stand up, shake your hand and introduce themselves like we're at a fucking job fair
I made a wizard staff out of Keystone light... I am therefore the smoothest wizard in all of our university's history.
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
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