He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you.
Just induced vomiting to put out a carpet fire.
Everyone is cheering
Apparently im getting a reputation for how i mix drinks. Im the midas of booze. Everything i touch turns to koolaid.
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
I just started an apology with "so I'm sorry about throwing the Brita at your head last night..."
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
Randomize
