yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
Just lit a joint with steel wool and a 9 volt battery... thank you 3rd grade science class
I'm wayyy too drunk to be in a parade right now
Based on her brazillian stubble I would guess her plan had been to wait one more date before sleeping with me. Seems the plan was flexible.
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
You just kept saying "they don't make cigarettes for squirrels. Yet."
I just saw the Mona Lisa in the background of a porno. Whole new appreciation for art. fuck you I'm cultured.
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
I'm going through a really dark time right now
I don't want to hear it man. I just jerked it to a pic of my ex wife in a bikini. Buck up
she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
Don’t be alarmed my pee bowl is in your shower
Randomize
