You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
I think need to divide my DVD collection into "movies I've seen" and "movies I've only seen during sex"
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
How do I know I'm high? Let me count the ways.
1. I put the milk in the cupboard, 2. Everything tastes fucking amazing, 3. My dog is really soft, 4. The lunesta butterfly flew out of my tv and touched me
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
Do you remember me asking for jerk off videos from Tinder guy?
Nah I don't remember that being part of the criteria
Wanna buy a dildo with me during your lunch break tomorrow?
I woke up next to him with nothing on and my thong around his neck. I just put my clothes on and left, but he still has my thong.
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