and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
her last google searches are 'cheap african safari' and 'what does lion taste like'
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
i need to buy one of the child leashes to wear at mardi gras or else im never making it out alive
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
I asked for a steak knife but the waitress could see in my eyes it was a bad idea
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
I love you too, but sadly you're not as good at getting me out of bed as cocaine.
Randomize
