I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
I gave them both handjobs at the same time. Felt like I was skiing
He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
Then, halfway through our conversation, I remembered what you drunkenly told me last night and was all "maintain eye contact, do not look at his massive penis".
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
Best day ever, my junk is bigger than Kate Uptons boyfriends. Yay for Fappening day!
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
Randomize
