So its not gay if you have sex with another woman and its academic
so what if I'm having sex with a woman for recreation?
Thats gay
I just changed her number in my phone to "You Wouldn't If You were Sober"
No, drunk sperm still make babies.
I sold 10 pepperonis for 5 dollars last night....i fucking love drunk people
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
Tim said I dropped my taco in a puddle and still ate it.
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
I am too drunk to deal with your everything. Reread this everytime you feel the need to talk to me.
All I have done at work today is eat and try to get my coworker to tie me to his bed again
Tim and I found you a 5ish and asked how you were doing with the breakup. All you said was "i can't words"
I immediately retract my statement involving hylecopters being allowed to blow up sharks out of the water.... The idea if it is super incredible but ultimately it would be cruel and unessesary
He said I looked like a ballsack and I tried to choke him out with my Ghostbusters pajama pants. Happy fucking Halloween.
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
Randomize
