Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
Good thing you didnt wake up last night. Wouldve found me naked talking to my closet asking to borrow my towel.
I'm sitting on the patient chair, waiting for my vagina to be violated & "i don't want to miss a thing" has been playing on repeat. WHY IS THIS HAPPENING TO ME.
I feel like I'm taking part in a surprise porno. At least my hair looked good.
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
he kept telling me how much his girlfriend would love me while we were making. why does tequila always do this to me?
my roommate made out with a guy wearing a squirrel costume, equipped with a blow up tail. time to start harvesting nuts for the winter
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
Through a complicated series of events, I wound up in the desert with a blue chick from comic-con. we lost peter. if you're alive, please come get us.
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
I wouldn't have found her if it wasn't for the vomit trail leading into my brother's room.
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