well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
I just saw a Kleenex commercial and thought about last night. I'm sorry about your hair.
There is a bruise on my cock the size of a golfball. Bad sign.
i think you're the only person in the world who masturbates to food network.
All his texts have the signature of a date with a smile. I asked him what it means. IT'S THE DAY HE QUIT DOING DRUGS
My phone really needs to stop auto correcting "library" to "ovary".
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
Last time I heard from you, you were double fisting strawberry milk and wine. Answer this text so I know you're still alive. Bonus points for a coherent answer.
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
I just got my hands on some dry ice. How do you feel about coming home to a mystical wizard toilet?
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
like, by the end of my shift people were asking if I'd sobered up enough to take a drink order yet. that bad.
We have such a parasitic relationship. But the kind where the parasite benefits from the relationship. Like the pilot fish and a shark. The fish gets the leftover food scraps from the shark and the shark gets a free bath from it.
that's so insightful.
Then it hit me - his penis wasn't a shiny new toy anymore and I wanted a new one.
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