And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
I dated that bitch for 9 months and didnt get as much as a hand job. I met her sister last night for the first time and smashed that...twice
I respect that
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
Just saw you drinking out of a flask on national tv. I've never been more proud of you
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
Seriously. My vagina. Can we talk about it? It's gonna jump off this treadmill and devour my trainer.
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
i dont know whats worse..that i woke up in a gorilla suit or that its covered in peanut butter
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
Just had an oven catch fire while I was balls deep. Fire department came, I did not.
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
Randomize
