I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
i just traded a sweatshirt for margaritas... why did they ever stop using the barter system??!!
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
It is becoming increasingly more likely that my entire halloween costume will be entirely composed of borrowed clothing from the two girls I'm hooking up
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
True friends don't judge, they just try to have more booty calls than you do.
I just want to eat and sleep til I'm dead. I should've been born a cat.
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
yeah I woke up in jail with two different shoes on and neither of them were mine
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
Is it okay to mention my ambition to become a supervillian and kill all humans on a first date, or is that a second date discussion?
Apparently karate chopping the fronts off all the paper towel and soap dispensers in the bathrooms isn't even frowned upon. Like even at the third bar when I fell flat on my back trying to jump kick the last one some guy just helped me up and high fived me. America.
Randomize