Just saw my boss eat a banana in three bites.
Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
no, i will not be your spotter when you masturbate with a noose around your neck
I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
I went to the obgyn with chipped nail polish.. Somewhere Beyonce was looking down, shaking her head, whispering "Not fierce."
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
hey im sorry i made fun of the color of your sheets, but like it was all i could focus on during sex because they were just THAT UGLY
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
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