I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
so I woke up and found tortilla in my belly button
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
I woke up to them arguing over who would get my morning wood. Oh, and I was dressed as Santa.
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
It was like the Alcoholic Olympics...double fisting fifths with eight 40s in my backpack...running from the cops in stilettos. I will have bitchin' hamstrings come Monday.
I don't deserve a penis
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
She had a tattoo on her pelvis that said "it's cock-o-clock" an had clocks and hot dogs exploding away from it. I'd like to tell you it was deal breaker buuuuuuut.......
He said the main reason he fucked me was cause of my storm trooper tattoo. IT ATTRACHES ALL THE HOT NERDS
fuck you I'm eating salad I can't be drunk.
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
I think that living in the "now" is the worst fucking ghandi buddha whatever advice bc that means I'm just gonna get drunk in the now.
Randomize
