So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
You leave a trail of fuck everywhere you go
i would one night stand the shit outta him
To put it in a frame of reference with which you're familiar, it was like making out with a golden retriever.
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
foreskin is a definite game changer
You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat
I heard drunk is the new sober. I heard me say that. To a cop. Can you come get me??
She was about to leave with you until you started singing "You Hoes Ain't Loyal" in her face
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
I just lit a blunt like right in front of an old man and I was like sir please shieldeth your eyes
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
Randomize
