Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(813): View more from Florida

My mind said no, but my drink said yes.

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(518): View more from New York

i'm only drinking out of pineapples from now on.

Fav 5 4188 903
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(850): View more from Florida

Writing a book: The Evolution of the Douche Bag: From Popped Collars to Ed Hardy Shirts. Doing research now.

(1-850): View more from Florida

Make sure you include chapters on white sunglasses, spray tans, and toxic amounts of hair gel.

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(215): View more from Pennsylvania

Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous

(610): View more from Pennsylvania

Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.

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(973): View more from New Jersey

i just saw my boxers from 2 days ago stuck in a tree 4 miles from my house

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(289): View more from Ontario

i just googled "what is oprah really like?" how do YOU think my night is going?

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(931): View more from Tennessee

Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.

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(585): View more from New York

S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.

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(574): View more from Indiana

Just threw up in a cup driving down the road because there was cop behind me and I didn't want to pull over. Not sure if winning or failing at life.

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