it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
I'm so drunk I cant read cursive anymore.
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
We were laughing at the passed out guy who had gone to sleep under the car in the McDonald's lot until we realized it was you.
I am actually insulted by the long string of ugly, fat girls he hooked up with after me.
Doctor just prescribed me 20mg Ritalin 3 times a day. It's becoming the "grain and oats" section of my food triangle.
My drunk neighbor is arguing with a goose in his yard. This was the highlight of my day.
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
Laying in bed nude eating a Big Mac with a cat. It's gonna be a good year.
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
This is the second girl that said she wanted to fuck me while wearing a clown nose. Fuck online dating
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
Listen. You dont know how advanced you are in yoga till you have to shave your butthole
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
Sorry I drunk. I wouldn’t eat those pancakes. I think I put glitter in them.
Randomize
