Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
I just ate a cashew that looked EXACTLY like your dick.
My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
I just stole a cupcake from somebody's bottle service
And I got $4 when somebody made it rain.
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
Why is everyone else growing up when I'm just crying, eating, and having pregnancy scares?
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
You're the only person I know who would be upset about making out with a girl you like. You're like a drunken Charlie Brown.
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
Got a $290 noise violation last night for shouting "THE KING OF THE NORTH" til 2 am
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
I’m not sure she knows my name. She introduced me as “the fuck toy”
Randomize
