As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
my head feels like I tried to put alcohol out of business last night
i feel like i'm a professional at blowjobs i can deep throat an entire spatula
you just kept swimming in circles and whenever someone would try and coax you out you would scream "i CANNOT drown, my brother is the supervisor of a water park!!
I need to talk about my life with someone. Preferably with someone who hasn't tried to jizz on me
i gave her a can of corn and told her the cabs are accepting non perishable food items over the holidays. blatant lie and she lives like $40 away
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
Don't feel sorry for me. I'm getting Red Lobster and sex tonight. Nothing can bring me too far down.
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
There's a guy masturbating in front of Sephora right now
Next time we smoke please remind me to put my bong back in my build a bear box. My mom says if I leave it out one more time she's keeping it for herself.
Today has been hell. Also I saw a dead man's penis. It's safe to say I will be getting very drunk tonight.
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
Randomize
