The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
She was wasted. Kept yelling "what if I'm pregnant" and trying to push me into the tree. First and last time I bring a girl to my family christmas party.
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
Just got walked in on during safety inspections
Think you passed?
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
if you hear someone banging on your door early in the morning, it's me with some breakfast burritos, so don't be alarmed
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
Okay. But I hope it isn't expensive lingerie. Because I'm ripping it off Hulk Hogan style.
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
There is a 5-year old here fighting 'drunk monkeys'. He tried to knock a drink out of my hand with a plastic light saber...
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
we were all too drunk to realize that the cat wasnt yours
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
u better not lose ur virginity to a sugar daddy who doesn’t post a pic of himself to tinder
Randomize
