it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
I didn't even realize you were getting that drunk until bam!
is bam when I fell down the stairs or when I threw up standing at the bar?
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
In case this wasn't clear when i said being his wingman was "hopeless", his date walked out on him when he poured a beer on his head trying to shotgun it
She was giving me that "well this is awkward since you drunkedly tried to hook up with me" look.
I just put on eyeliner and a diff shirt in case the pizza guy is cute. This is what my dating life has come to
in other news i'm homewrecking via instagram
I can't tell if I'm getting better at doing my online spanish hw drunk or if my teacher is just grading on creativity. Either way that senoritas gettin an applebees gift card when i graduate.
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
so much tequila, so little girl.
Tried to shave my legs but the rug burn on my knees from last night got in the way.
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
Randomize
