so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
literally had 100 drinks last night.
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
Not even the dog will look at me anymore.
I have got to stop getting laid on my lunch breaks. I AM SO HUNGRY RIGHT NOW.
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
What I've learned from glowsticks: glowing things are not safe to eat
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
hooked up with someone last night while wearing walrus pajama pants. clearly I'm accomplishing big things in life
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
I let a 30 year old guitar player that works at a call center go down on me in his backseat last night
Randomize
