So drunk i had to piss sitting down...
I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
You didn't have enough money so you tried to convince the cashier that "four dollar foot long" rolled off the tongue better. Stop drinking. Immediately.
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
A hangover is a type of food poisoning. Makes me feel better about calling out of work.
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
Drinking heavily at 3pm and about to rescue a 30lb street turtle. Dont even bother attempting to rise to this level bitch
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
You woke up, looked straight at me and screamed "fuck barbara streisand!" and passed out again
Note to self: NEVER have sex with anyone who is experiencing explosive diarrhea.
I've never been so happy to be celibate.
Randomize
