I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
Every time my boyfriend threatens to commit suicide I change my relationship status as "widowed".
The plants looked thirsty. Growing plants need mimosas too.
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
I don't care that you fucked her. I'm offended that once again, you fucked someone with me in the room because you assumed I was asleep.
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
#1 benefit of having an equality sticker on my car: some girl flashed me while i was driving home
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
this whole "benign brain tumor" is truly a blessing in disguise. I almost want to start bringing MRIs to the bar because sympathy pussy is flowing like the nile
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
She was going down on me before I had a chance to tell her I arrested her brother 3 hours earlier
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
Randomize
