im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
You kept making up "snapple facts" every time you opened a beer.
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
She kept sniffing my sweater and tried to guess what type of detergent I use.
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
Today I left one job interview, showed up randomly at his house for a midday bootycall then left right after to attend my second job interview. I got both jobs
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
As pissed as she was, you would've thought I was trying to get back into his pants instead of his booze collection.
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
Earlier today I was eating cookie dough from a tube, now I'm laying naked next to a hot guy watching Pawn Stars in between orgasms. You really can have it all.
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