Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
Yeah but I was the kid who ran over your BMW and is banging your 15 year old daughter... There isn't a cool enough dad in the world to make that work.
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
We started pregaming at 8. It's 11, and her only 11:11 wish is to be sober. It's hard to not love her.
He's so urbane and sleek; so aesthetically chiseled, having endless features to offer me whenever I desire.
Are you fucking a guy or a condo building?
His pillow talk sucks. It was like Mr. Roger's vagina.
When we were having sex last night, I told him I would replace him with tacos
sweating bourbon at client mtg -- you?
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
Im getting out of handcuffs then i'll give you a call
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