Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
he said the way to his heart was through his stomach, i told him if he wanted to eat my food he had to eat my kitty
smooth operator
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
dude, i told you to rally, so you sprinted upstairs, knocked some girl down, and without missing a beat said, "not now bitch, im in the fucking zone" and took off
We are gonna play a game I like to call what the fuck is in my pocket
I just found vampire teeth and a moustache in my purse. do you know why?
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
Randomize