Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
I have shoes on. No pants. And my jacket pockets are full of ketchup and grass. Yes. Good night.
The great thing about vietnam is that if I'm drunk during the day people just think I'm being white
I can't answer my phone I'm at work
I slept with a male stripper last night. Priorities
This is John, I met you downtown last night.
Oh, ok.
This is the cop that kept you out of trouble last night
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
FUCK... Pulled a chick from the bar went to her house passed out on the shitter. She lives in a house full of girls. They were making poop jokes as i left
You, me, naked, mistletoe, fifth of jack, gallon of lube, condoms, Cheetos, handcuffs, rope, along with no morals, inhibition or judgment. That's all I want for Christmas.
Most drunken moment of the night is me pouring Chanel no. 5 all over your boobs and rubbing it in...
my poor anus
Don't judge me. It's a Monday night and I can eat burritos in while bathing in the kitchen sink if I want to.
And the next thing I knew I was blowing this random hot italian bartender with an uncircumcised penis in his work closet
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
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