My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
I'm full of awesome ideas
Yesss you are. Im full of confusion. I keep finding peanut butter on my legs...
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
Stealing vibrators from Walmart together was when I realized you'd be my Maid of Honor.
I should have taken pre-gaming this lunch date more seriously.
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
i ended up making out with my new neighbor in a stranger's car that we found unlocked on a driveway somewhere. apparently drunk self never say "no" to adventure.
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
My liver is preforming stress tests.
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
I invited him to my hotel room via snapchat. I'm one hell of a classy bitch
Just reached for my phone in my non existant pocket while it was in my hand.
If I had a dollar for every functioning brain cell you had I would owe someone a lot of money
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