thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
drunk doesn't even begin to explain it. dude called him and said to bring you back because he'd already called dibs.
but the good news is i woke up with 15 dollars in my pocket so i probably sold my phone instead of puking on it
Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
Come back. She's looking through naked pics of his exes on his phone and questioning him about them and I'm too drunk to walk away.
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
I swear to god, if you fuck the hot one you're paying me back for the shot I just bought her
You called me and said "Aidan's unconscious" to which he said "I'm conscious, I'm conscious pilot"
He was filled with the holy spirit. And vodka.
You also thought the cure to hiccups was drowning yourself (and you were right)
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
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