with your own penis?
I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
My grandmass entire neighborhood is over for dessert and i'm high as fuck...about to make a couple of freshman boys real uncomfortable
Freshman in high school? Just your type
Annihilated within 20 minutes of arriving on Saturday, proceeded to hook up with him half a dozen times/almost have sex in the shed. Later on I text his boyfriend letting him know he's okay and that he's asleep next to me. If I could parlay this skill into a vital component of national security I'd be the Jack Bauer of homewrecking. Diner later?
3am cut off hipster s***'s afro on porch. Opened champagne. Felt like delilah cutting off samson's hair. Then shower & anal. So I guess his powers are intact.
The cab driver just finished telling me how leaving community college after one month was the best desicion he ever made.
I got a lap dance until she said they wipe of the poles between each dance to clear the "std slime", i couldnt even masterbate at home it was a horrible military monday
i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
I love you, but you should know I'll always ditch you for weed.
You were trying to swim on the floor while eating a hot-dog bun and laughing about how much you hate bread and didn't understand why you were eating it..
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
Like a gentleman I waited until you were done vomming to start my Big Mac.
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