Thats something to write home to mom about
Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her
He told me he could read braille... with his tongue. So I took him home. I don't think he was lying
Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
theres a wall by my room thats like, a prime fucking wall. before i move out SOMEBODY is gonna fuck me on that wall, goddamnit.
that's like... drinking popov and saying its the worlds best vodka. you gotta try some others first. THERE SHOULD BE A MISS AMERICA PAGEANT. but like, mr penis. and they can do tricks and make unintelligent remarks and wear sparkly condoms.
I swear they were about to hook up!!
I know because I was in the tub taking an imaginary silent bath. They stopped cuz I gagged on my shot.
I made $80 at the club last night by telling him he was like a wild pony and I just wanted to tame him
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
Randomize
