my brain is sober enough to have a conversation.. but my arms feel nice
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
Your job is getting in the way of our day drinking. Shots on the hour are not as cool alone.
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
Last night was just one giant freudian slip.
You made out with EVERYBODY.
Can I just bleach my life?
Did we almost burn down the bar last night? I guess flaming shots were a bad idea.
Children cease to be precious when they crap their shorts in the pool I exercise at.
i may or may not be making depth charges with cough syrup. i'll call you if i survive.
I don't think I've ever met a guy with a bush bad enough that I would choose a cactus over it.
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
Hold on I'll be right there, I can't find my arm.
Yeah but who says we can't be shitfaced and tan at the same time?
This is the Front Desk Lady from the Saturolite Inn. Your friend is passed out in the lobby. Please come help her.
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
Randomize
