sexting loses it's worth when you accidentally text your boss.
If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
The google font looked peculiar last night, but then up close I realized it was just dry vomit.
He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
Why is your solution always to masturbate
Because it usually works
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
my mom snuck into my room, washed her clothes and made her breakfast. what the fuck she's a better boyfriend than I am
So there I was, eye fucking the waiter and I spilled beer all down my boobs
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
We need to feng shui this bitch.
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