worst morning ever. completed my walk of shame home to find my parents, grandma, and priest had come down to surprise me on my birthday. now i'm in the car with them to go get my car from the bar.
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
the cool security guard showed me the video clip of how i sat criss-cross-applesauce on the elevator for 20 minutes last night
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
Screw disneyland. This military base is the happiest place on earth. Even unnatractive dudes are completely fuckable in those uniforms, im never leaving
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
soo... how was my night?
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
Randomize