Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
I didn't even realize you were getting that drunk until bam!
is bam when I fell down the stairs or when I threw up standing at the bar?
First and foremost she's my friend, but she's also a mistake I make when I'm drunk
He and I are basically the same person, except he has a glorious penis and I have glorious breasts.
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
Oh, cold wet seat on the 48! Are you piss? Are you the sweaty ass leavings of an obese person? Are you the spilled King Cobra from the night before? I do not know! I dare not smell to find out... Pants ruined...
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
The whole time we were hanging out my vagina was yelling at me like its a real live penis that wants to have sex with us what are you doing
He wrote me a Haiku titled, "Let me touch your butt".
Googling enemas while I get a pedicure ... My life in one senence
I'm so sad at the lack of dick in my life I am going to get sauced and make rice krispy treats
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
Randomize
