yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
Woke up. Made a pizza. Burnt it. Going back to bed cuz today sucks
I know I know. I considered playing it sober but after I typed out IS SHE A GENIE? I knew it was impossible to hide.
He kept yelling "osteoporosis" and threw milk at her because she broke her arm.
That's so unfortunate for him bc you can always find another penis, but he's stuck with it
He just showed up at my house and was like "have you seen an axe laying around?" he wasnt wearing any shoes.
$100 bras are my way of telling my boobs that I love and appreciate them, and all the metaphorical doors they have opened for me.
If you don't ever hear from me again, just know that I loved you
Jesus Christ that's like a real possibility
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
My parents are paying for my knee surgery for my birthday. What costume will look good on crutches for my Halloween Birthday?
Welcome to adulthood.
So it turns out strippers do encores if enough people yell. Encore song: Self Esteem.
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
Randomize
