I just projectile vomited in a Methodist church parking lot. If Jesus didn't love me before he sure as hell doesn't now.
apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
Is it bad that I just used Smirnoff as mouthwash?
I just peed next to my dog in the yard. Unparalleled forms of bonding going on over here.
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
I just licked the seasoning off all the doritoes in the bag. Tell me when I should stop drinking or I'll just move on to the sunchips
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
He offered to let her do a line of coke off his hard-on. She said she'd had that hard-on and it would be a bump, not a line. Everyone laughed. That's why he left.
So that answers the first question but not the second: how the fuck am I getting home?
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
When I come home and take my bra off and I'm served with a perfect grilled cheese along with a glass of wine. Priceless.
Dude we were sitting at my place stoned as fuk then someone knocks on the door and it was my neighbor giving me a huge box of cookie dough. Magic of weed.
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
Randomize
