the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
It never makes you rethink your life choices when you're breaking into my apartment at 3 am to take a piss in my kitchen sink?
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
Ask me who hasn't showered since Sunday and just got cruised at the gas station on his way to work. I'm a terrible gay.
You would seriously think I would remember who put themselves in my phone as Burt Rynalds Moustache, but I don't. And I need to be reminded of who you are so I can give you a proper high five.
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
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