I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
i need a shirt that says "I fuck trainwrecks"
so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
used foursquare to find where i am. please come get me. this is the scariest bedroom ever.
His housemate was playing a sad violin solo for me on my way out. God I hate musicians.
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
As I was throwing up blood I assured concerned onlookers that I had simply "eaten a lot of ketchup today"
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
I figured it out! The supermoon explains how I managed to have sex with 3 dudes in 3 nights without leaving the apartment.
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
I just bought two 8 Balls of Coke from the chick nurse that stitched my leg together in the ER after my bike accident last summer.
Randomize