Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
Today should be called shooting fish in a barrel day. Every place ive gone to ive met a girl who regrets not hooking up last night. There have not been girls this easy since Fathers Day
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
We gotta make a movie eventually. All good, long-lasting relationships include a homemade porno
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
Just purchased ketchup, body wash, and lube. Hope you're ready for the post-memorial-day-cookout-shower-anal.
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
My phone keeps autocorrecting to the "st. Natty's Day Parade" and I'm completely okay with that
I spent most of the stoned conversation with my dad proving to him that the Newfoundland is an actual dog and NOT a Snuffaluffagus-esque figment of my stoned imagination, while laughing over the fact there is actually a place caller Dildo, Canada. Have YOU taken time to be a good dad today?
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
I'm at a Tim Horton's and two girls just came in handcuffed to eachother
One minute we're singing Wagon Wheel, and the next you're belly dancing in a trash bag on the beer pong table
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
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