dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
you announced to everyone at the bar "fuck girls. they're confusing. im gonna start having sex with boys now"
In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
I came over to his house for a party and realized I was quoted on the fridge... "How'd I get rug burn on my face?" And yes, my name was right next to it!
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.
You know that joke about taking tylenol pm and jerking off? you don't always win. sometimes you wake up in the morning naked lubed up cock in hand to the realator and would be perspective buyers laughing at you
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
Just saw a midget on a motorcycle. Best sight for a hangover ever.
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
Randomize
